Today, I went with ISA, my study abroad company and group, to Jarabacoa for some eco-tourism and to La Vega, which means the valley, kind of funny because it's the singular form of Las Vegas, for la carnaval, one of traditions the Dominican Republic is known for. It was an extraordinary day, spectacular really. I rode a horse for the first time in ten years, a huge fear now overcome, somewhat, climbed a hill next to a waterfall, road around the countryside in the back of a sort-of-safari-like truck, enjoyed picking rocks from a river, and was thrilled by the costumes and customs of the Sunday afternoon carnaval.
On the way home, I decided to get dropped off at La Sirena, which is kind of like Walmart, in order to buy supplies for tomorrow at the orphanage, we're going to make a poster of the rules we established last week. I was confident, feeling comfortable enough to walk home alone! I know how to handle los piropos now.
And I was just checking out when one of the most disheartening things happened:
Have you ever heard of the invisible white knapsack?
To have unknowingly, it's really the best. But to have it knowingly, with a conscience, is truly the worst.
I was checking out with my poster, markers and tape, with the 500 pesos in my hand ready to pay, and I had already said saludos to the cashier and told her that I did not have a SirenaMás card. Then a man with his family walked up behind me, and him and the cashier exchanged some quick language about targetas and efectivo, and he became angry. He said, "I saw the lady with cash. You should treat everyone equally," as he backed out of the isle and moved to the next.
I nervously watched him as he left, hoping he wouldn't turn his animosity towards me, for me towards me is more like it. I asked the woman if it is not okay to pay with cash, as she obviously hadn't let him. In a cavalier manner, she shook her head and said I was fine. The man said again from behind me that he had saw me pay with cash, and that he should be allowed to as well.
I turned and looked at him, he was avoiding eye contact with me. He was looking at his new cashier, face red, jaw clenched, lips pursed, visibly upset. I looked so sad, maybe a little frightened, too.
I turned to my cashier, sullenly said "permiso," and asked her again if it was not okay to pay with cash. She explained that you may only pay with cash if you have under ten items. I turned to look at the man again, because I do have "a staring problem," like we used to say as kids. He muttered, "Hay que tratarnos todos iguales."
As I left, I became upset that he had made such a big deal out of this situation, with me, of all people! I'm the anthropologist that makes a conscious effort to understand the life-ways of the Dominican people, to see why they value them, to partake in them, and to value them myself, to love it all in a way that isn't through rose-colored glasses, to feel Dominican. I try to validate them and their culture, not walk all over them! He had it all wrong!
But then, wasn't it kind of a silly rule that you can only pay with cash if you have less than ten items? What if they're really expensive! What does number have to do with it? He didn't even have a cart. He must have had fewer, too.
Oh no. My heart sank. He was right, I was being favored and I hadn't even known it. It wasn't because I'm a female, because my cashier was a woman, and any non-straight orientation isn't acceptable in this country. I was white. That's why, and I still am, as I'm walking down the street towards my host family's apartment, feeling defeated. In what other ways have I been able to live easier here, unknowingly? I thought about my día de diversión, about the last six and half weeks, and I still have no idea. I need to be more aware of this.
I'm genuinely grateful that he called this all to my attention and that he is making his resentment for the everyday, seemingly tiny injustices known, acknowledged, as they are the little concrete practices that demonstrate the monstrous, underlying idea so many people are enculturated, or socialized, if you prefer sociology, into: white is better.
This guy is a hero, the kind people read about in history text books.
For more information on this appalling goody-bag, read this: http://www.amptoons.com/blog/files/mcintosh.html
For all of you extranjeros in the DR, please think about this, and don't let (really, it's make) this guy's efforts be in vain!
Sorry this is really preachy.
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